Forty years is a huge milestone in everyone’s life because you enter mid-adulthood. It feels very special when your husband puts his time and effort into your birthday to make your day special and memorable. Everyone wants to feel loved and special on their birthday. But sometimes people miss important days or dates because they have many things on their minds.
Some people say birthdays are not a big deal as you get older, but that’s not true for some people it is a very special day to celebrate the day they are born. It is really disheartening when others don’t love us the way we do or the way we want. It feels very hurtful when your husband forgets your birthday, or he did nothing on your 40th birthday to make you feel loved and appreciated.
Reasons why your husband may not have celebrated your 40th birthday
He might be busy with his office work
Sometimes you don’t understand what others are going through in their life. Your husband could have just been busy or had a hectic work schedule or lost track of time. There was a lot of work pressure in the office. He might be exhausted and due to which he forgot to remember, or it may be due to some other problems he might be experiencing in the office, so that is why he did not plan anything for your birthday.
He might be planning something big
We never know what’s coming next. He might be planning something big to surprise you. That is why he did nothing on your birthday. He might be thinking about how to make your day special. Maybe he was organizing a special event or planning to go on a trip with you on your 40th birthday to make you feel special. He might be planning for a romantic couples getaway or give you an adventurous excursion. This could be one of the reasons why he did nothing on your birthday.
He might be planning to give you surprise
If your husband did nothing on your birthday, he might be going to give you a surprise. Maybe he wanted to try out something new for your 40th birthday. Perhaps this time, he wanted to go on a memorable romantic trip with you. It would help if you always were not negative about it. Just think positive, maybe he wanted to do something different this time which would be unforgettable. That’s why he did nothing for your birthday yet.
40th birthday is not that big thing for him
birthdays come every year. Maybe the 40th birthday was not that big of a thing for him to remember. Or perhaps he didn’t like to celebrate birthdays. If your husband forgets the important date of your birthday, that simply means he doesn’t care about it. He might be thinking birthdays come and go every year, so it’s not a big deal for him. It might not be a great day, according to him. So because of this reason, he might not have thought of celebrating your birthday.
Maybe your husband is bad at planning things
Usually, husbands are bad at planning things, and most men are not good planners. Because most of the time, they start thinking of doing something, and when it doesn’t happen, they get fed up easily with their lack of planning, or they leave everything to the last minute and pick things that you don’t like.
He might not be good with that stuff(birthday planning). Maybe he had not thought of doing it because of failed planning he did in the past, which was ruined. This could be one of the reasons that he did not celebrate your birthday.
Maybe your husband thinks you are hard to please
Maybe your husband thinks you are hard to please because whatever he did something, you didn’t like it, or maybe you needed more of it. Or whatever he did before, you didn’t like it, so that’s why he thought of not doing anything on your 40th birthday.
He didn’t put effort because the romantic spark between you is not there anymore
When both of you start to take each other for granted, the romantic spark between you fades away. When your interests diverge, you barely talk to each other or spend less time together. Maybe he thought the spark you had in your marriage before is not there now. So he easily gets annoyed whatever you do. When he doesn’t remember important events or shows a lack of interest, that means he is tired of you. He didn’t put effort into doing something on your birthday because that spark between you is not there anymore.
What you should do if your husband did nothing on your 40th birthday
Forgive his mistake
Forgiveness can predict the health of a relationship. Forgive his mistake for forgetting your birthday because after all you both have to be together at the end of the day. Forgiveness can make your relationship even stronger than before. This will reduce the chances of something similar happening in the future.
Yes, a 40th birthday is very special for everyone, but sometimes people forget it, which is okay and is not a big deal. So just forgive him for not remembering or doing nothing on your birthday and step ahead in life.
Ask for the reason
To stay away from fights, just forgive his mistake and ask for a reason for forgetting your birthday. For example, maybe your husband was very busy in his work life, so that could be one of the reasons he did nothing on your birthday to make you feel special. Instead of fighting, just focus on what stressed him out that he couldn’t remember the special date. This can resolve issues between you and your husband.
At the end of the day, you guys have to be together. So just plan something good together. You can go out for a dinner date, or a better option could be a romantic trip. Every relationship has ups and downs. Spending time together can make your bond stronger, and it will reignite the romance in your relationship.
Bring it up
Express that you are hurt and not to make the situation light. It’s your birthday, and you want to have it special. Just tell him that you are disappointed that he did nothing on your birthday to make you feel special. Make him understand that your 40th birthday was so special for you and you are hurt, and just make sure something like this will never happen in the future from his side.
Just don’t compare your relationship with others. I know it is absolutely normal to compare your relationship with your friends. But this will only make you hurt, and it will become toxic for both of you. When we compare our relationship with others, we only waste our time and energy focusing on others’ relationships. Yes, a 40th birthday is very special in everyone’s life but comparing it will only make you unhappy.
If your friend’s husband had done something special for his wife, like giving a grand celebration for her birthday, that doesn’t mean you should also expect the same thing with your husband. Everyone’s relationship is different. Instead of comparing, you should talk to your husband about how you felt when he did nothing on your birthday to make you feel special. You can also go for a marriage therapist if you have any problems in your relationship.
Go for couples therapy
If you think your marriage is not working out, you should definitely go for couples therapy. Some people are not good at remembering dates. I know it hurts when someone very close to your heart doesn’t even care about your special day. If your husband doesn’t care about celebrating your birthday or if he seems disinterested in you by doing nothing on your birthday, then you should go for couples therapy. If his behavior hurts, you just tell him that you are disheartened. If you both have issues in your marriage, you need to find out a way to talk about them. If he doesn’t value you,
I would suggest instead of blaming him, make yourself valuable in your eyes. If you still think he will change then, he will not. First of all, make your 40th birthday special for yourself. Just go to a spa or have a dinner date with your girlfriends, or you can go for a weekend trip with your buddies. Just make yourself more valuable in your eyes than only the world will value you.
What we learned from all this
You just need to understand that your husband might be busy, so he did nothing on your birthday. That doesn’t mean it’s over. Birthdays come and go every year, but you need to realize that if he did nothing on this birthday, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Communication is the utmost thing in every marriage, so just communicate with him and sort out the differences between you.
We all made mistakes, but what is most important is fixing them and not repeating them again. Some people don’t think of doing something on their birthday, so they think no one does. So just make him understand how important your birthday was to you. Just engage him in your conversations. And always show gratitude towards whatever he does for you, even if it is a small thing.